Sometimes

Sometimes I wish my brain would turn off.
Sometimes I wish I was good enough for him to love.
Sometimes I wish there were more genuine people in this world.
Sometimes I think too much-- this is one of those times.
Sometimes I wish I knew the answers to my random questions.
Sometimes I rant for no reason-- this is one of those times.
Sometimes I still love him.
Sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I want to be Polynesian.
Sometimes I don't.
Sometimes I miss my friends.
Sometimes I don't.
Sometimes there's always a sometimes.

Chocolate

So, there's this boy, we'll call him chocolate. He's a very cute boy, and a very sweet boy. He's my crush! And I'm so happy about it!
I'm so happy that I'm happy. Being sad all the time was harshing my mellow. Haha. But life has been so good to me lately. Heavenly Father has been so good to me. And I definitely don't feel like I deserve it. But I know that if I keep up living righteously, he will bless me more! And I'm so so grateful for the blessings he gives me!
But anyway, chocolate has FINALLY taken interest in me. Which used to seem like wishful thinking after 5 years of secretly crushing! We get to see each other Friday night after I get off work! Still working out the smelliness issue. Because work makes me REEK!!! But I really hope we stick to it. :) I'll keep you all posted!!

Boo.

She is, in fact, my best friend. :)

Life.

You know when you're going on in life, you don't really think that the best person that ever came into your existence would ever leave? Well that all changed for me. But I have a great support system behind me. My family and friends are so amazing. They've been so great and I can hardly thank them enough. But I know that the one person who could make it all better isn't going to. And that moving on is the best thing for me. I know one day I'll meet the man of my dreams. He'll blow anything I've ever had out of the water. And that gives me comfort even tho I haven't wanted to hear it. Who knows! Life is unexpected. And my life is in God's gentle, loving hands. He knows what's in store for me. And I'm excited to find out! He knows what I need. And I love Him with every fiber of my being! I couldn't imagine myself without His hand in my life. I love Him.

boyfriend

Well peeps, sorry it's been so long!!! The recent news is this. 

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND! 

He is the best boyfriend ever. His name is Adam Zenger. I just have to brag about him because he's a little too good to be true. I'm very blessed to have met him through one of my best friends, Tessa! He is her cousin. HA! Nice hook ups huh? ;) I've been told he's the epitome of tall, dark, and handsome, which I definitely agree with. He treats me like a queen! He puts me first and asks what I wanna do. (which he always ends up picking because he's pretty picky. Haha.) 

One thing I love most about him is his worthiness and his priesthood. I was able to witness him help give my baby sister a blessing. It was just a confirmation that it is SO important to be worthy and able to use that priesthood whenever called upon. It's definitely a blessing, knowing that I'll have that in my own home someday! 

One of my favorite things about Adam is how he can make me laugh whenever! It seriously is the best to just laugh and laugh. He does it so well! We balance each other out well. But we are very very competitive. Which can get us into trouble. I definitely love him with all of my heart. He's my babe, my best friend, my forever. I'm excited to see what else he brings to the table. He never stops surprising me! 

XOXO, Shannon

A Special Announcement :)

Hey there everyone,
I have a special announcement to make. And so, I've decided to share it with all of you.

I have decided to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. :) 

I'm very excited about this decision. I know it's the right thing for me at this time. I love this gospel so much that I'm willing to go serve! I'm starting my mission papers with in the next week or so. I hope to have your support and love while I'm gone. I love each and everyone of you very much. I can't wait to get out there!

Love, Shan

I wish I could really express the feelings that are rushing through my veins at this very moment. All of the pain, sorrow, happiness, numbness, love, etc. It goes on and on. I can't help but feel happiness and gratitude for the family and friends I posses. Sorrow, for those I care about who make dumb decisions. The pain inside my body is excruciating, but I wouldn't know what to feel without it. The numbness because I can't help but love a boy who will never love me back. So, I try to block him out by not feeling anything at all toward him. 

I have never felt so many emotions at once, as much as I have lately. It's definitely something I can hardly really express without letting all the details out. But that isn't happening anytime soon. So don't count on it, folks.
There are some things in life and love that aren't fair. Like you can't make the person you love, love you back. Sometimes what you go to school for isn't what you're gonna end up doing. When you feel utterly betrayed, but know that the situation is entirely out of your hands. It's not your decision to make. When you can't make someone love the gospel as much as you. When you can't make them live the gospel and have it completely in their life in it's fullness. But that's why we have agency. I can't make them do these things. They have to want it. But it doesn't make me want it for them any less.
This post may not make any sense to anyone else but me. And that's completely fine with me! I just needed to vent. Everywhere else seemed too public. And so I vent here. I hope you don't mind.

Things that I love: Sunshine, giraffes, Taco Amigo, talking to my mom about everything, hugs, mowing the lawn.