A Special Announcement :)

Hey there everyone,
I have a special announcement to make. And so, I've decided to share it with all of you.

I have decided to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. :) 

I'm very excited about this decision. I know it's the right thing for me at this time. I love this gospel so much that I'm willing to go serve! I'm starting my mission papers with in the next week or so. I hope to have your support and love while I'm gone. I love each and everyone of you very much. I can't wait to get out there!

Love, Shan

I wish I could really express the feelings that are rushing through my veins at this very moment. All of the pain, sorrow, happiness, numbness, love, etc. It goes on and on. I can't help but feel happiness and gratitude for the family and friends I posses. Sorrow, for those I care about who make dumb decisions. The pain inside my body is excruciating, but I wouldn't know what to feel without it. The numbness because I can't help but love a boy who will never love me back. So, I try to block him out by not feeling anything at all toward him. 

I have never felt so many emotions at once, as much as I have lately. It's definitely something I can hardly really express without letting all the details out. But that isn't happening anytime soon. So don't count on it, folks.
There are some things in life and love that aren't fair. Like you can't make the person you love, love you back. Sometimes what you go to school for isn't what you're gonna end up doing. When you feel utterly betrayed, but know that the situation is entirely out of your hands. It's not your decision to make. When you can't make someone love the gospel as much as you. When you can't make them live the gospel and have it completely in their life in it's fullness. But that's why we have agency. I can't make them do these things. They have to want it. But it doesn't make me want it for them any less.
This post may not make any sense to anyone else but me. And that's completely fine with me! I just needed to vent. Everywhere else seemed too public. And so I vent here. I hope you don't mind.

Things that I love: Sunshine, giraffes, Taco Amigo, talking to my mom about everything, hugs, mowing the lawn.

wishful.

Sometimes I wish he would love me forever. Do anything he could to do the right thing, so he can be with me.  I wish he would want to be with me... But what is this all? 

Just some wishful thinking.